Forgiveness
by Hitsugi Zirkus
Summary: Even if he never admitted it, Eren was the last person he wanted to hate him. Even so, forgiveness was something Levi didn't think he deserved right then. But Eren had always been a persistent brat.


**A/N: **This is in response to a fanfic trade I did with a nice person on tumblr -grins- This is also the first fanfiction I've completed for Shingeki no Kyojin. I emphasize completed because there is another I have that's unfinished here on my laptop that I was hoping to be done with already but alas. This one was shorter anyhow and I was given the prompt so I didn't have to think too much about what to write.

Why are the first fanfics I write for a series always so angsty... -goes to a corner- Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy! This is a slightly tweaked version than what is on tumblr. I'm a bit nervous as to how this came out, especially since there's a lot of death fics out there for these two -cries behind sleeve-

Please regard me kindly and enjoy -bows-

**Forgiveness**

_Drip. Drip._

_It's hot... Really hot_...

It had been something Levi thought about more often than not. Levi - a man with no ties, family, or even a last name, was intensely, unconsciously afraid of one thing: of having Eren Jaeger hate him.

_Drip_.

"H...hhh..."

Too much relief had poured into his chest when Eren, looking ashamed that he had flinched away from the corporal, glanced up at him with suddenly childish eyes, reassuring Levi that there were no hard feelings, that he _understood_ why Levi had taken violent action that day in the court room. Irvin had asked him casually about it after a meeting. Levi had played it off as nothing. He didn't care about this brat who was still so young and inexperienced he probably shitted grass. It was all for the sake of an efficient military, and - more importantly - for the sake of the future of mankind. It wouldn't do to have Eren hate Levi; it'd just teach the brat to not take orders from him, and behave recklessly.

Oh boy did Eren behave recklessly. That boy so quick to want to act, to _save_.

"Sh...sh...it..."

_Drip. Drip._

_I can protect him, I can shield him as he shields humanity_...!

**Lies**.

It was a very hard thread to keep in this world out to save itself - to keep the ground smooth and have no unnecessary death. That was something else he hoped Eren understood. _So please don't resent me for that. Don't... I've...I've always been on your side, you brat. I have. I'd've done anything to protect you. Defend you...with my life... So, please don't... Don't_...

A hand, still hot and steaming like a rotting Titan, reached up - tried to reach for Levi's face, but only dazedly brushed over his neck and collar. A small smile tugged at the end of bloody lips. "Corporal... What's with that look...? That's...unexpected."

"I-I'm..." Oh God, his voice was too shaky. His mouth was opening, but his tongue and vocals refused to work. **_Sorry_**.

"_Corporal Levi, you have to do it now!"_

_"Just another moment!" bellowed Levi wildly. "Give him a moment to calm down, he can do it! One more moment-!"_

_"**GRAAAAUUUUUUGH**!"_

_"Now, Corporal, **now**! What are you waiting for!?"_

_"Take him down!"_

_"HE CAN DO IT-!_"

It had been an easy decision - for it to end in others' hands...or Levi's. The grip he had around Eren's shoulders tightened. "God fucking dammit, you listen here," he began firmly, setting his jaw hard. He shook Eren harshly. "You're not going to die now, you shitty brat. That's an order, you hear?"

Faint amusement gleamed in Eren's dimming teal eyes. His breaths were coming in and out longer - evenly, as if he were peacefully falling asleep, among Titan and human corpses alike, pooled in heat and blood. Levi wasn't stupid, he knew what death was and could tell the difference between a survivor and a fallen comrade a mile away.

And Eren was falling fast.

"You're...sad...?"

"Shut that tone of surprise right now and stop talking. I told you maybe you'd be fine, so just hang on." It was all empty words, and he'd say they were for Eren's sake if it wasn't for the fact Levi knew that Eren was no fool. Not for something like this. Terror seized his chest tightly, an iron weight pulling him down as he realized more and more with each passing second the gravity of what was being lost right in front of his eyes. Soldier or not, Titan-shifter or not, Eren should've been promised more, so much more, a much longer life, to be able to see so much _better_ things...

He should _be there_ when humanity reclaimed its freedom.

But with one swift stab though with razor-sharp blades, Levi had taken all that away from Eren. _Hate... You must hate me_... "You hate...me." Apologies, regret, flooded him too quickly, consumed too much of his being for Levi to properly hold them at bay.

He thought he had said it quietly enough, but Eren had apparently caught it. "I don't hate you," he said, by far the clearest thing to have left him. Levi widened his eyes, as affected by those words as he had been the first time Eren said them to him - only this time, he couldn't quite bring himself to stop from showing it on his expression.

Eren went on. "I don't hate you. But I did...wrong things, Corporal..." Suddenly, Eren's expression became fearful, his eyes wide and glistening, and Levi was harshly reminded of all the dying comrades that had given him a similar look of impending despair. "...I screwed up...again... So I don't...blame you for 'punishing' me... It's what you always did...to keep me in line."

It was too hot. The Titan steam was in Levi's eyes, misting his vision and he blinked the growing tears out of his eyes. Beads of sweat and blood were rolling down his face and neck but he hardly paid it any awareness.

"So... I don't hate you for doing this, sir." The tears were overflowing from Eren's eyes, dripping down either side of his face, steaming on his still-hot skin as they mixed with his blood. "I let down humanity though... So...does _Corporal_ hate _me_?"

What an obvious question. Levi wanted to hit himself for not considering Eren's own fears earlier. Is that how he had sounded only a minute before? The question sounded so _childish_ when Levi knew the answer so clearly. "God, Eren Jaeger, you're the symbol of hope for fucking humanity," spat out Levi in reminder, tugging Eren closer because the teen's breaths were getting softer. He shook his head. "Of course I don't hate you, you goddamn piece of crap. Stupid shitty brat." He should really stop but like hell if Levi could let go of the sarcasm and harsh nicknames he gave Eren. It was proof everything was normal, that the teenager was _there_, always looking so clueless as he looked up to Levi for guidance.

He was vaguely aware of human-sized shadows forming through the lifting steam, and everything was running out of time - the battle, Levi's usually calm demeanor crashing down, everything, and Levi's never been so uncomfortable in the midst of blood...

Eren stopped time with just the most bratty smile Levi had ever seen. "You're wrong, Corporal," he rasped. He was getting heavier in Levi's arms. "I tried so hard...because of _you_... You were so strong...you never accepted defeat..." A breathless chuckle escaped him. "The hope of hope... I'm so happy...you don't hate me..." His expression softened, even as his eyes remained firmly trained on Levi's face. "I'm sorry..."

"It's fine," Levi said, gripping Eren's bloody hand that still laid on his chest. "It's fine. You were - **are**..." He can't finish it, and even now the words choke on his throat, refusing to come out. His words have never betrayed him like this before. There are certain things he's supposed to say, certain things he's supposed to **do** in such a moment, but damn it all if Levi had an impossible time coming to grips with what was in front of him. He tried again. "I swear, I'll keep you with me. I swear, I'll kill them all for you, Eren, I swear it! I swear I'll do whatever it takes to get humanity free from the Titans!" _I'll do it for you, I promise. I won't die, not until I fulfill your dreams, redeem humanity... Every fiber of your will, I won't let it go_.

Eren was smiling, but he wasn't gripping Levi's hand back. It slipped out from the mess of blood, but Levi took it again, tried once more, making promises under his breath to Eren.

It wasn't until the steam was finally lifted that Levi saw there was no longer any light in those teal eyes. The rest of the Scouting Legion would talk about it later that night, murmuring that it was the first time they had seen Lance Corporal Levi cry, uniform and skin stained with the blood of humanity's hope.

* * *

**Ending A/N**: I think what I'm fearful of more than anything is the OOC-ness I put in here -panics- As many death fics as there are, I still raked my brain how to write this well enough. Why is there so much angst for this pairing, why. I promise my next attempt at this pairing won't be this sad. Hopefully I can finish it soon :P

Am I worthy of a review?


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